Oppression

Every once in a while here I have what I call moments of understanding. Trying to live in and understand another culture is basically impossible because I will always be an outsider to life here. There are random moments though, and I never really know when they are going to come, when I feel I gain a new understanding of the people around me.

The latest moment happened in church on Sunday. I was trying to concentrate on what was being said, which is always difficult since it is all Albanian, but I started looking at this elderly couple in front of me. Looking at them, I realized what a gift true freedom is. For the majority this couple's lives churches didn't even exist in their city, and any public or private expression of faith was punishable by imprisonment or exile.

It made me start to think about how closed this country truly was just 15 years before. Everyone had to consider everyone else, family and neighbors included, as potential spies that could report them to the Party. They had to think about everything they said beforehand out of fear of saying something unacceptable. Communism had even taken away the freedom to have a dissenting opinion.

I feel like I know all of the facts about the period of oppression here, but I don't really understand them. I guess I never will because I didn't live through it, but hopefully more moments of understanding will be quick to come.

On a lighter note, another quasi-funny story. The process of learning Albanian has created several embarassing moments, so I have kind of gotten used to it, seeing as how they still happen regularly. On Saturday, I was at a project planning training for youth, and the kids asked me why I wasn't married. I was trying to make a joke, which isn't a good idea when you don't fully understand the grammar of the language. I wanted to say "Girls don't like me." So I said "Gocat nuk me pelqen." But when they all laughed and one girl looked at me with wide eyes and said "Homo?" that I realize I had actually told them "Girls are not liked by me." Which here means "I don't like girls." It took some explaining but I think they understand what happened. No more making jokes for a while.